Well, in the 2 examples above, the dvar is set after a scriptmenuresponse. So, that would be anywhere you are monitoring for menu response (eg maps\mp\gametypes\_menus.gsc, but obviously any file where you have a script varible waiting for a menu and response). So, if your action{} item is a scriptmenuresponse, using a loop to find all players is pretty redundant as you already have the entity defined - it would be the player making the menu response.
Perhaps the best thing you can do is modding elementary - post your menu code and your menu response waiter script in full. That way we can see if we can spot any problems in the code.
ADDENDUM -
I would just point out that I've never had a problem showing a dvar value in a menu itemDef{}. My problem had always been when doing that with an action{} item as well. As I posted above, I just discovered what my problem had been - I was always including decoration as well in the item definition. If you leave it out, showing the value of a dvar works every time with an action{} item.